idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
