I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Randomize
