It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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