I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
