Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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