This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
