Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
