I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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