You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
