Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
