I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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