Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
