You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We were destined to go to rehab together
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
