I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Randomize
