plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
