i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
