i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
