Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The adults are the big ones right?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
