its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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