I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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