Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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