so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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