I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
