Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize