would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
