some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
