The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
