Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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