why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
