I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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