I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
