Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Drunk is not a location!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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