By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
