I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
