More tranny stories later!
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
