She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize