I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
