Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
