guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
