He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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