i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
