I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
