Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize