It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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