my phone needs a breathalizer
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize