Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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