Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
