youre lurking in front of me
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
