Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
