I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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