Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Randomize
