oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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