happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
