oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
