We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
