we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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