i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
