Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize