I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
home. puking in laundry basket.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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