how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
