i don't like sucking hair
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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